Summary:

Catullus to Calvus: Are you serious? These poems suck! And now you've ruined my Saturnalia...

Things To Think About:

• Written to Gaius Licinius Calvus; "hate" because Calvus prosecuted Vatinius
• Notice all the references to the neoterics ("new and witty gift") and to poetry ("bad foot")
• Tricolon Crescens: bad poetry is poison, sacrilege, punishment; also "poison" aka lethal

1                 Ni te plus oculis meis amarem,

          If I didn’t love you more than my own eyes

2                 iucundissime Calve, munere isto odissem te odio Vatiniano:

          most delightful Calvus, I would have hated you with the hate of Vatinius because of this gift:

4                 nam quid feci ego quidve sum locutus,

          For what have I done or what have I said,

5                 cur me tot male perderes poetis?

          why do you destroy me with so many awfully bad poets?

6                  Isti di mala multa dent clienti,

          The gods will give many evil things to that client,

7                  qui tantum tibi misit impiorum.

          who sent to you so much of impieties.

8                  Quod si, ut suspicor, hoc novum ac repertum

          But if, as I suspect, this new and witty/discovered

9                  munus dat tibi Sulla litterator,

          gift Sulla the elementary school teacher gave to you,

10             non est mi male, sed bene ac beate,

           it is not bad for me, but well and joyful,

11             quod non dispereunt tui labores.

          because your works/labors do not perish.

12             Di magni, horribilem et sacrum libellum!

          Great gods, what a detestable and horrible little book!

13             Quem tu scilicet ad tuum Catullum

          Which you surely sent to your Catullus

14             misti, continuo ut die periret,

          so that he would die this day,

15             Saturnalibus, optimo dierum!

          on Saturnalia the best of days!

16             Non non hoc tibi, false, sic abibit.

          This will not thus be allowed to pass for you, funny guy.

17             Nam si luxerit ad librariorum curram scrinia, Caesios, Aquinos, Suffenum, omnia colligam venena.

          For if it has become light, I will run to the bookshelves of the booksellers, I will collect all poisons [bad poetry]  the poetry of Caesius, Aquinus, Suffenus

20            Ac te his suppliciis remunerabor

          and I will repay you with these punishments,

21             Vos hinc interea valete abite 

          From here meanwhile goodbye go away to

22       illuc, unde malum pedem attulistis,

          there [Calvus’ house] from which you have brought bad foot

23             saecli incommoda, pessimi poetae.

          affliction of a generation, worst of poets.